My Own Personal Road With Grief:
I’ll get to the meditation for grief and loss but, there’s something I have to do first…
The reason I am writing this post is because, I have to. It seems one of the ways for me to deal with my grief is writing about her.
Letting everyone know what a beautiful person she was, and what she has done for her community is nothing short of amazing 🙂
I am talking about my ex who unexpectedly passed away exactly 2 weeks ago today. She was the woman I thought I was going to marry one day.
This was one of those we both were absolutely in love with each other… but we couldn’t be together for certain reasons and she walked away.
I am and always will be crushed. The first week was just walking around in a daze that I’ve never felt before. Everything seemed trivial…
Why are we here? Why her? Why not me?… and on and on it went.
I did my best to get through work every day. There were a couple days I had to leave early because I just couldn’t handle the people around me.
I wanted to be alone…
It wasn’t until my best friend said to me, “You’re going to fall into a hole that’s going to be even emotionally harder to get out of. You need to live your life for her.”
It took about a day or two of me thinking about this statement before I did anything about it. I realized that I was just letting my life go, I was going to lose everything I worked so hard to get.
So, I went to bed, with the thought in my head that when I woke up, it would be a new day and it was time to get back to life.
As time is going by things are getting easier. I do my best to not overwhelm myself with busy work to forget her, instead, I meditate to remember all the good times we had together (and sometimes bad).
But, I had to remind myself how blessed I am that she even graced my life with her presence.
It’s not easy walking through day to day knowing she is no longer walking this earth with me, and I will never be able to tell her how much I still love her…
But I look up at the sky every day and tell her hoping she hears me and she’s there.
I have noticed since I’ve been writing in my journal a lot more than it’s really been helping.
Putting the thoughts on paper and ‘putting them away’ so to speak, seems to help me not constantly roll them around in my mind for hours.
(Related: Want To Change Your Life? Start Now! Get More Information Here- What Is The Practice Of Mindfulness Meditation The Purpose?)
We end up being stressed out and depressed
We all go through a great deal of both positive and negative events in our lives. Some of us have no issues dealing with such events but a great number of men and women are not capable of being able to cope with the situation.
And, in the end… We end up being stressed out and depressed. This is where meditations for grief can help.
When someone of great love and importance to you is lost forever, what do you primarily feel?
The only answer to this question is undoubtedly grief. For some, this feeling is so strong and life paralyzing. All individuals experience grief differently, whether young or old. And we will experience death and grief during this journey called life.
While dealing with grief, it can feel like it’s penetrating deep into the depths of your heart… slowly sinking into the darkness of our inner evil.
While many of us prefer to avoid grieving experience at all costs, it is still best to address the situation. We need to hit it head on and deal with the experience with strong determination.
You can do this by using mindfulness and meditation for grief and loss. Stop sinking into your inner evil and ignite the light for life again!
If you keep dancing around the issue at hand, and pretending like it didn’t happen or doesn’t exist, then you are in for a rude awakening… it
will not just go ‘poof’ and vanish, even though I wish I could say it will…
However, eventually, at some point, you have to deal with the problem. Or it will end up, in the end, hurting you even more.
A person must know however, that grief can consume all your energy. Leaving your mind, body, and soul exhausted and drained… and this is why all specialists state you should continue your day to day activities.
Will this grief ever stop?
Grief is normal, and it’s very difficult to fight off. Whenever we lose someone or something close to us, we feel so empty, and your heart so heavy, it seems it will never end…
You will soon find yourself wanting to find the deepest hole to crawl into. Along with this may also come great sadness, unhappiness, and despair.
Losing a loved one we are really close to can cut us to the core. It leaves us lost, helpless, and in deep sadness.
Mourning is a natural human emotion that no matter how much we want to, we can’t change this. However, not all people go through this stage in a sane and safe way.
So they need some type of help and support. Please remember above all things, you are not alone!
Many people, as I mentioned above, prefer to just not want to deal with the situation. They want other people to assume they are okay. One of the worst things we can do is pretend nothing’s wrong by pushing your feelings aside.
This can not only harden your feelings towards this life event, but it will have a significant impact on your emotional life in the future.
So what can we do when we are enduring grief?
Effective ways are available to help you work through your grief!
There are several options if you are experiencing pain and sorrow from loss. Meditation for grief and loss is just one of them… I’ll get into more detail about that in a moment.
Below is a list of some common ways people use to fight through bereavement:
Restlessness is going to happen for anyone in the grieving process. Try your best to continue exercising daily.
Just by doing this can help keep you fit even if you’re struggling with extreme depression.
What happens most times is when people are grieving they are most likely depressed also.
When we are depressed, some people will overeat and some will not eat at all.
Either way, this is an important step to remember because anything in excess can make you sick.
Continue with all your routines… I’m not saying it’s going to be easy. But, the more you sit alone and sulk, the worse the depression and loneliness will be.
Believe me, this I do like a champ! I am not one to grieve in front of others and prefer to cry alone. Try getting together with friends, maybe if you’re up to it, even going to a party or a small get together.
Even keeping yourself busy like doing chores, and other stuff that you used to enjoy prior to the grieving experience.
This way, as time goes on, you will start to forget the loss from time to time.
Mindful meditations for grief is one of the BEST ways, in my opinion, to help get you through the turmoil you may be having due to a loss.
But, you MUST be present through this experience. We need to become intimate with our feelings, acknowledge them, become aware of them without judgment.
You can not push it away and pretend that it’s not there.
It has been shown by researchers, mindful meditation can help you through all stages of grief. As well as decreasing depression and anxiety along the way.
It doesn’t happen overnight, it will take time and practice.
When a loved one passes, it’s not necessary to carry the grief with you. In fact, we need to transform with it. With using mindfulness, the goal is to acknowledge these thoughts passing through your mind and let them pass without attachment.
We all know about the power of denial… but, acceptance can open your mind and heart to walk with grief in a different way. I have noticed personally, I have been able to do this very thing.
Once my mind starts to think of her and her no longer being here, I acknowledge the thought of her is there, but I allow it to move through my mind, as best as I possibly can with no attachment. I’m not saying this is easy to do. By all means, it’s not.
I still find myself crying and feeling like I can hardly breathe sometimes when I think of her… but I do my best to realize that I’m hanging on to this thought. And I need to let it go for my own mental stability.
Some of you may know the saying “whatever we resist, persists” right?
Welp, feelings are meant to be felt! And mindful meditations for grief can reconnect you to your you! Your oneness, your wholeness, and bring you back to happiness. Even while grieving.
I personally believe the most effective way to deal with grief, suffering, or loss is through daily meditation for grief, maybe some yoga, or deep breathing exercises.
What these are all meant to do is help you relax. Not only your body but your mind and soul as well.
I will be honest, when I lost my loved one a couple weeks ago, I actually was scared to meditate. I really didn’t want to sit for an hour thinking about her.
I wanted to be moving around, thinking of nothing, maybe cleaning or doing some writing.
I would do anything but meditate… for almost a week! I can’t remember the last time I’ve gone that long without meditating. I really thought it was going to be a bombardment of emotions, feelings and even pictures of her in my head.
Welp, once I realized I needed to face my fear I jumped on in and meditated for the first time in about a week. And I’m glad I did.
It made my acceptance of this situation easier just by sitting still, breathing, and actually thinking about things. Rather than busy-work and avoidance.
(Related: Still Skeptical? Learn Some Of The Most Common Myths About Mindful Meditation – 7 Myths Of Mindfulness In Plain English)
don't forget to live your life!
You still have your life no matter what. So try not to give any more attention to what you’ve lost. Reason being, there are still more life events to come your way. Be them positive or negative.
A woman I used to work with when I was younger said to me once, “Don’t get old, the people you love just start dying around you.” I have never forgotten this, we all need to accept the reality of life.
The loss of my close ex really opened my eyes and made me realize I’m not living the best life I could be living. She was so young, had a lot of life to live… so now I have to live it for her.
Time to change those negative habits! Quite the smoking, stop the drinking, eat healthier, Meditate!! All the things your doctor has been yelling at you to do 🙂
And yes, I need to take my own advice, I have acknowledged this… but it means nothing if I don’t act upon it.
My goal is to act upon it right away. What’s your plan? Staying the same? I think it’s time you start mindful meditation…
How do we acheive mindfulness
When it comes to achieving mindfulness, the one thing you need to understand is it’s about living and being aware of the NOW…
We are not in the past, we are not in the future, we are here NOW!
You don’t have to wait years for this to happen either. Yes, it does take practice to be able to do this without thinking about it. It is present in everyday life, you just have to be open and aware to accept and see it.
Mindfulness will give you more happiness and joy in your life. Once you start opening yourself up to the possibilities of mindful meditation, your life will be magical. And will never be the same again!
Most people’s minds now a day are so overwhelmed with information, anger, regrets, and worries. This is when we tend to get overwhelmed and start living a depressed, and anxiety-ridden life. Which does not sound like a really good time, does it?
When it comes to practicing mindfulness, it’s not very difficult to do. It’s just getting through that self-talk that it just won’t work! I can’t stand when people think shit just won’t work for them because of this, or because of that…
To me, these are all excuses because you are scared of making a change. You are scared of leaving your comfort zone.
To have mindfulness is to be mindful of the world around you. It’s that simple. The hardest part is learning how to quiet your mind to be able to do this.
You want to be in silence. Not only by closing your mouth, but by silencing your mind as well.
By doing this, you will allow yourself to focus on what’s right in front of you. See how beautiful the green leaves are on the trees, the beautiful birds chirping and speaking to each other, being aware of every step, being aware of every breath that gives you life. And on and on I could go.
If you continue to practice your mindful meditation, as time goes on your mindfulness and awareness will become much stronger. Your concentration and focus will be stronger as well.
Once you are fully aware and fully concentrated on one thing, you have a chance to make a breakthrough, to achieve full liberation.
Losing someone very close to you is never going to be easy…
But, even though they have passed, your life in turn, still moves forward.
So, let’s take a look again at the quote at the beginning of this post:
“It’s only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth — and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up — that we will begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had.”
— Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
Does this have a new meaning to you now after reading this post? Well, I hope it does!
I know once I found out my ex-had passed away, I realized it could be my day any day! She was 28 years old. Just starting her life…
We all take life for granted, don’t even say that you don’t.
Because it’s always there, thinking ‘it’s not going to happen to me’, knowing you’ll wake up the next day. But once someone you love is gone in an instant, with no warning, and younger than you…
It really did change my worldly perspective on my own life.
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What do you think about Mindful Meditation For Grief And Loss? Are you a believer in the practice or a skeptic? I would love to hear any and all of your thoughts!
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“Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well.”
– Jack Kornfield